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If you’re travelling for Thanksgiving this year, you may be looking forward to seeing family or good friends, but you might also be stressed about certain family dynamics, traveling stress like long distance drives, busy flights, or traffic woes. Perhaps you’re dreading having to see a certain someone at the party. You only have Thanksgiving day off so you have to travel out of state for dinner and then drive back for work the next morning. You might be feeling exhausted just thinking about it. No matter what you’re Thanksgiving plans are or where you have to go, you can find calm this holiday season.
One. Focus on the meaning of the holiday; gratitude. If you feel gratitude and make a mindful choice to practice it this season, you’re going to be more focused on the positives rather than cling to the negatives.
Two. If you’re traveling to see relatives or friends, consider getting your own place for the night. If you’re an extrovert and you love sleep overs, then go for it. But if you’re feeling tired out or worried that being around certain people for prolonged periods of time is going to make you feel stressed or upset, it is perfectly acceptable to find your own hotel room or airbnb for the night or even a few. As much as you love spending time with everyone, it is ok to take care of yourself and find a little bit of space during your visit. Everyone needs some solitude every now and then. It will most likely be equally appreciated by your Thanksgiving host. Having a lot of people over can be a tough job when you’re cooking Thanksgiving dinner, hosting guests, and planning activities. They might like having less to worry about too.
Three. If you find yourself in a tough spot with a difficult person, remove yourself from the conversation. You don’t have to listen to garbage or sit through abusive dialogue. Chances are, there is someone else more positive you can talk to at the dinner table or event. Politely excuse yourself and pick your seat accordingly.
Four. Make travel less stressful by getting plenty of rest, leaving early, staying hydrated, and finding ways to make travel more fun. One way I do that is by creating a playlist that I can listen to as a way to boost my mood or enjoy my time. You have to take care of yourself before you can be there for other people.
Five. When the going gets tough meditate. Get stuck with a cringe-worthy relative? Find yourself caught in a political debate? Dinner too busy, noisy, argumentative? Being criticized by a “well meaning” relative? Take a step back, breath in deep, and meditate for a moment to find your center. Don’t get caught up in the event, let it blow right past you so you can make the most of the rest of your day. Then revert to step three listed above because you don’t have to put up with that. If you’re anticipating a stressful interaction, consider meditating before you even arrive to help your brain settle down and drop your defensiveness.
Six. See another stressed family member? Maybe the host over cooked the turkey. A kid spilled their cranberry juice all over the carpet. An exhausted new mama is close to tears. One of the couples at the party is arguing. One relative made another relative cry. Someone is feeling left out. Holidays can get messy, but we’re not in this alone. A lot of people feel the same way as you are feeling. Perhaps what might help you the most, is helping another friend or relative in need. Lend a helping hand, a shoulder to cry on, or start a positive conversation with someone who is having a tough holiday. It can make a bad situation into a good one.
Always remember that you cannot control the way other people behave, but you can control your response to it. No matter how or where you are spending your Thanksgiving, you can have a calm and happy holiday this year.
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