10% Happier | Year of Living Lovely

Earlier this month I mentioned that I have been doing some meditating, especially with my new morning routine and also before bed. I first heard about Dan Harris’s book, “10% Happier” last year when I watched the Minimalism documentary on Netflix. I have known about the health and psychological benefits of meditation for many years, but just like my attempts with yoga, I simply thought, “I’m just not that chic.” Personally, when I think of people who meditate I picture either really relaxed and earthy people who go off on long adventures for spiritual retreats, or those nearly perfect humans that are in upper management for large companies, never skip a morning yoga class, and somehow perfectly balance work, family, fitness, and personal pursuits. 

But meditation is not just for the modern yogis or business leaders, it is for everyone and it is actually much more simple than you can imagine. I used to think that if I ended up getting lost in thought when I was supposed to be “thoughtless,” then I had failed. I also used to think that I needed the perfect atmosphere, a quiet location, and a lot of spare time to fit in meditation. 

Dan Harris shares the fact that meditation is as simple as finding a relaxed position, focusing on your breathing, and being mindful of when your mind wanders so you can reel it back in and begin again. If you catch yourself wandering and you manage to bring back your focus, then you’re doing it right, Mr. Harris encourages. And that is all it takes. 

A couple months ago I had a stressful situation where there was a misunderstanding between me and one person through an e-mail conversation. Didn’t they read my e-mails? Why are they so confused, it is right in front of them? Why on earth did they wait last minute? How can they be mad at me, when they were the ones that were wrong? Not constructing thoughts. I was stressed, unsure how to respond and solve the issue, and also angry. I lost my patience. So I downloaded a meditation app onto my phone hoping it would calm my erratic heartbeat. That app was the 10% Happier app. 

I found the instructional video clips to be fun and informative. The five minute meditation that followed had a profound effect that I was not expecting: all my anger was gone. My heartbeat slowed down, my muscles relaxed, and the anger seeped away. I felt calm and clear. Within ten minutes after meditating I responded to the negative e-mail in a kind and constructive way and in return, the issue was completely solved and both parties were happy with the solution. It completely saved the situation, my happiness in that moment, and the working relationship between me and the other person. 

The next morning I took this method with me on my morning walk. I meditated again before bed. It has since helped me with much larger issues that have come up in my personal life as well as stressful situations that are from my past and should be left there. It is not a cure all, but it does bring peace and clarity when negative emotions begin to cloud my judgement. As my stepmother likes to say, “When you see crazy, you don’t have to jump on the roller coaster. You can choose to stay where you are and wave as it goes by.” That is what meditation has done for me. 

Which is why I was so excited to have the opportunity to see Dan Harris speak at Edmond Town Hall in Newtown Wednesday evening as a guest speaker for the Avielle Foundation’s Brainstorm Series. The Avielle Foundation is an incredible group of people working towards researching and implementing brain health techniques to prevent violence. The group was formed by the parents of Avielle, a young girl who was killed in the Sandy Hook tragedy in 2012 and now it is their mission to share these wonderful ways to improve our lives and mental health. The Brainstorm Series is a series of incredible guest speakers and workshops to encourage the community to learn more about mental well being. 

The town hall was a full house. Dan Harris is an unlikely candidate for meditation as a news anchorman for ABC who was previously skeptical of the benefits of mediation, until a very public panic attack on live television spurred his search for a better way to deal with his anxiety and experiences. What I love about his work is that he shows people that meditation truly is for everyone of any age and walk of life. 

After his speech, filled with funny stories and useful tips, he answered questions for the audience and signed books. Guess who was second in line for the signing queue? 

I used to have extremely bad social anxiety, especially meeting new people when I have something that I truly wish to say. In my case, I wanted to say, “Mr. Harris, it is a pleasure to meet you. My name is Courtney and I first heard about your book through the Minimalism documentary. I love your work. A few months ago I downloaded your app onto my phone and it helped me in a very stressful situation. I have since used it frequently and I am so thankful. Thank you very much, I truly appreciate your message.” And I would shake his hand like a sane and polite person. 

Instead what came out was, “Thank you! I saw your documentary. I downloaded your app and it helped me. I really appreciate it. Thanks! Bye.” And no hand shake. Well, at least I said something and I still managed to smile. He did look me in the eye and sincerely say that he was pleased that the app helped. Obviously, I still have some more meditating to do if I’m still unable to think clearly in social interactions with strangers. I can start by reading the rest of his new book.