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For the past two years my husband and I have embarked a minimalist journey. We moved from a large two bedroom, two bathroom, two-story apartment to a much smaller studio loft apartment. We donated approximately 30-40% of our belongings to live smaller, and we simplified our lives and schedules in so many ways. When we moved to our smaller apartment we did not have room for any excess kitchen supplies so we donated most of them, only keeping the pots, pans, and dishes we most often used. That means we also donated our microwave (one of the best decisions we have ever made). There was also no room for our dining room table and chairs so we sold those, however, my husband’s large television did stay (you can’t win them all).
It has been an exciting and busy two years and I have to say that our journey into minimalism (or semi-minimalism if you consider our full closet and overflowing book collection that we both love, me probably more than him) has taught us plenty about who we are and what we want out of our lives.
I love to start with the positives, and there are many when it comes to simple living. For many reasons, you save money when you live with less. Rent is typically cheaper for a smaller space, you buy less because you don’t have the room for excess, heating and cooling a small apartment is much cheaper than heating and cooling a large apartment, and by keeping our old cars instead of upgrading to new ones we saved on both our car insurance and our car payments (especially because my car is completely paid off; good ol’ Trusty). Because we lived smaller, we were able to afford our wedding in June and go on our dream honeymoon. There is a freedom to owning less and not having to worry about a mortgage; meaning we travel much more often than we ever have before. We’re better off financially and spiritually. It is also nice not having to cover something in our apartment when it breaks down (like the time our fridge stopped working and our apartment complex replaced it).
I have also discovered that I don’t need a whole lot to be happy, which is something I have known since childhood, but it still feels good to shake off consumerism and say where I live and how I live right now is perfectly fine the way it is. It has taught me appreciation for the many wonderful things, people, and moments in my life.
Living smaller has also helped me with our clutter problem somewhat; I’m more intentional about what I keep and what I bring home. I also love the coziness of a small space. As a bonus, our cat Madeleine flourished in our tiny apartment; she now feels more confident around us and is much less shy.
It also taught us that we can be happy with less and helped to make sure we did not rely on material items for all of our happiness and comfort.
However, our minimalism journey also taught us that we’re not quite cut out for “perfect minimalism.”
My husband does not like small spaces. Let me repeat that, he does not like small spaces. Our tiny apartment is ok for now, but he feels cramped and claustrophobic in our space. Thankfully, we have tall cathedral ceilings because the apartment is located in an old factory so it doesn’t feel too tight, even though we have minimal floor space. Although 600 square feet if perfect for me and I am quite happy in tiny spaces and I think the square footage is perfectly fine, my 6’2″ husband is near his breaking point. He likes wide open spaces, especially for his living space, and our journey into minimalism has not changed that in the least, it just made him want it even more. It looks like we won’t be living in a tiny house one day, or even a tiny apartment for too much longer. The experience has taught me that I need to let go of some of my own feelings about living with less to make the man that I love happy. It really isn’t for everyone and there is no shame in that. It is a lifestyle choice, but that does not mean we have to give up all of our ideas of living with less. When we house hunt one day we’ll try our best to met in the middle.
And although all-white empty spaces are stereotypical of minimalism and not quite a true representation, I did try adding more white into our space. In many ways I loved it, but I am also a woman who loves color. Our furniture is almost completely dark. As much as I love bright and airy spaces, our furniture tastes lean more on the traditional, worldly, and rustic look. I don’t think that will ever change.
It also taught me that there are certain creature comforts that I really do enjoy and there is no shame in that. Whenever I look at my bookcases I feel immense joy; it is my personal happy space at home. Most minimalists would say ditch the books and exchange them for an iPad, but I love hard copies of my favorite novels. I also reread my favorite books and although I regularly donate books I will no longer use, I keep many. I won’t be made to feel bad about it. It really does bring me joy and that is enough for me.
And anti-minimalist of all; I would like lots of closet space. I would rather have empty spaces in my closet than not enough room for clothing for all four seasons and storage for Matthew’s sports gear. As much as we have paired down, I don’t believe we should get rid of things that we love, use, and enjoy just to fit a too-msall space. One tight closet to share and a cubby under the stairs isn’t enough to tuck away our small collection of holiday decorations and ornaments, sports gear, and stuff that deserves a proper home instead of in a corner. Perfect minimalists would argue; just get rid of everything, but we live in New England so our winter gear does take up space. I am also a photographer and I need my gear for work. Stuffing my photography lights, tripods, bridal expo supplies, marketing materials, and backdrops into our water heater closet and under the bed and in a basket in our closet is a nuisance. Plus, as I said, there are creature comforts we simply want to keep, no shame about it and no explanation necessary.
And worst of all, keeping a tiny space looking clean is hard work, I tell you. All it takes is a couple dishes on the counter and a few dirty clothes on the bedroom floor to make the entire apartment look like a cluttered mess. We have to be on guard to tidy up non-stop or risk feeling like we’re living in a pig stye.
So where does that take us?
So we know what works and what doesn’t. Minimalism is not a one size fits all. We don’t need a large space, but living in a tiny space just doesn’t work for the both of us. And although I donate clothing and books I do not use often, I like having clothing that helps me express myself and surrounding myself with books. They bring value into my every day. Yet we’re also more intentional with spending and what we bring into our lives. It has taught us what living with “enough” feels like. And even though he tried it with me for two whole years, my husband has never and will never be a minimalist. As much as he likes some of the ideas and has happily adopted some of my methods, he loves his tech, wants a home office, and would never dreams of giving up his shoe collection or sports gear. He likes things. But to be truthful, we all do in some ways. Trying to be a “perfect minimalist” is just another way for me to try to over achieve at something and feel bad for failing. Perhaps, instead, I should be more accepting of what truly makes me happy instead of trying to fit into a minimalist mould. So there will be aspects of minimalism that we will continue as a couple, but to make sure both parties remain happy and healthy, we’ll be stepping back from minimalism in some ways. However, we’re still continuing our simple living journey because there are many elements like banning busyness, being intentional with spending, and prioritizing our time and money. It is not a journey to acquire or discard everything, but rather finding a healthy balance. And that works for the both of us.
