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Recently I shared my thoughts on what our two year minimalism journey has taught us as individuals and as a couple. Going in, I was positioning myself to go into minimalism 100%, my husband on the other hand was a bit of the opposite. For him, it was only temporary for the time in our lives before and slightly after marriage. What happened was that we dived into our miniamlism journey, perhaps a little too aggressively, and the result did not work out for us. We were living with less, but we were also living in a dysfunctional space, making our home unorganized and not having designated places for our belongings and any home activities like sharing meals together. He has been feeling a little caged in for quite some time now and he desperately wants some space for a home office.
For two lovely years we have shared a small loft apartment and this weekend we looked at a two bedroom apartment in our complex that would give us some extra room (with a real pantry and a coat closet!) and an office space for Matthew. I decided to leave the choice up to Matthew, as I love our apartment, but I also know I could be happy in the other apartment too. And he surprised me by choosing to stay in our tiny loft instead of upgrading!
To be completely honest, I was tempted for the larger space after seeing it. As much as I love small spaces, I do long for the larger simple spaces you see on Instagram, Pinterest, and in magazines. Having a home office space would give us a real “home library” as I would be able to put the bookcases in the office instead of keeping them in our living room behind our sofa, freeing up and simplifying our living room space. I loved the private outdoor entrance, which made it feel like a real house instead of a dorm-like complex. I was tempted by the extra closet space and the possibility of a real dining room. I thought for sure that Matthew was sold on that extra bedroom to turn into his home office. Instead, he said “Let’s keep the extra $300 a month and make our loft work for us.” Color me surprised.
During our minimalism journey, we somehow both met perfectly in the middle. A year ago, Matthew would have leapt at the opportunity for a larger apartment (or even renting or buying an entire house). I on the other hand felt guilty for wanted “excess.” I have learned that it is ok to want more and to enjoy creature comforts that minimalism doesn’t always allow for. And Matthew has learned that more isn’t always better and that we can make due (and even flourish) with what we have now. To do that, we both need more compromise. We asked ourselves, “What can we do right now to make our apartment work for the both of us so we don’t have to move?”
So we’re moving the record player out of the corner in our small living room and purchasing a small desk to make a home office for Matthew. Instead of getting a desktop computer, he will be using a lap top to accommodate the small space. We’ll keep things simple, which is a win for me, and Matthew will have his office, which is a win for him.
It got us thinking about what we truly want out of “home.” He wants a home office, and more than anything, I want everything to have it’s own place in the apartment. I also truly want a space for us to share meals together.
So we bought a small folding table and folding chairs for our living room, which gives us a real table to eat our meals at instead of on the sofa and when guests come over we can open the other side of the table to make room for more people. I’m thrilled at the possibility of making our tiny space a functional home that can accommodate guests and make being at home more enjoyable.
But most of all, I am happy that we are leaving the “this is only temporary” mindset in the past. By keeping the apartment “only temporary” we never truly settled in. As a result, the walls are bare and clutter accumulates because we do not have a designated spot for our belongings. Pens, paper, and office supplies fill up our mini pantry space, books pile in corners, the mail gets left on the counter tops, and nothing has a designated spot.
I am learning to let more in; a new folding table where we can enjoy each others company over dinner, an office space for Matthew (and with it, a place for all of our writing utensils and office supplies, freeing up our pantry for its true purpose), organizing our closet, and another bookcase for the rest of our books that currently don’t have a home. And Matthew is learning to appreciate where we are right now, without needing extra space. We’re both learning to compromise and appreciate the here and now at home.
Over the next couple months as we redesign our apartment space to truly work for us, I will be sharing the steps we took to achieve a new level of comfort in our tiny loft. It is going to be a big undertaking, as we’re planning on going through absolutely everything and rearranging our entire apartment to better suit our goals.
So minimalism? Not exactly. More like, we’re finding the balance with having enough and learning to live more simply. Sometimes that means learning to reevaluate our lifestyle.
