The Positive Affirmations That Have Helped Me

This morning I wrote a message on my bathroom mirror with a blue dry erase marker. It said, “I have the power to choose the way I feel and today I choose happiness.” It is a positive affirmation that I put on a long list to help improve my mindset and my wellbeing. I was a little skeptical at first. “Positive thinking” cannot change real life situations, but it can shape the way that you feel. Repeating positive affirmations, phrases, or mantras and actually meaning and believing them does have the power to change the way that you feel about yourself and the world around you. It puts positivity at the forefront of your thoughts and diminishes the power of the negativity in your life. 

Everyone goes through struggles and most of them are out of our hands. We cannot always change the world around us, but we can change the way we react, the way we treat ourselves, and the way that we feel. Positive affirmations, along with self-care, is one way of doing that. 

My anxiety is on the mend, but there are certain situations in my life that I cannot change, and that is what triggers my feelings of anxiousness, hopelessness, and sadness. Certain people in my life who I love very much and will always unconditionally love, have turned around and cut me out of their lives, for no fault of my own. The first thing I did was self examine. Did I do anything to deserve that? The answer came, not just from myself, but from my husband, my close relatives and family, and my dear friends. The answer was no. I didn’t. Sometimes people just aren’t well and when they see you working hard, thriving, or succeeding, feelings of resentment, envy, or anger can emerge and be wrongfully directed at you. That is not your fault. 

For a long time it seemed that these particular people in my life were only there for me when I was suffering and struggling, and even then their support was severely lacking in kindness and authenticity. And then every time something good would happen in my life they would be angry with me and tell me that I was selfish for it. When something bad happened, they would be there to heroically swoop in to act supportive and involved, but the moment I celebrated even the smallest of triumphs I was punished in some way for it. It took me a long time to see that pattern, the subtle glee when I wasn’t doing well and the resentment that followed when I was. When people truly care for you, they want you do be happy, successful, and mentally well, no matter how they are doing in their own lives. I was sidelined, ignored, or even blamed for their destructive behavior. I know that I am not the only one to have experienced this from a toxic family member or loved one, which is why I wanted to open up and share part of my story with you.

It hurts, but I am learning that it has absolutely nothing to do with me. I am not to blame. It caused feelings of grief and rejection. I felt unlovable and often experienced feelings of worthlessness. I felt that I had lost some of the most important people in my life, that they had intentionally chosen to cut me out of their lives. And they actually had. At first I thought it was all in my head, that I was being too sensitive, or that my gut feeling was wrong somehow. That they were just too busy. But deep inside I knew the truth. And recently I received confirmation. I have been rejected by the people in my life who should be there, just as I have always done my best to be there for them, simply because I am working on creating a healthy and happy life. 

We all experience the loss of a loved one, whether it is by death or by choice. Sometimes people choose to leave and we’re left wondering why or “what did I do wrong?” Sometimes that answer is nothing. It is not logical or rational. It truly is not you, it is them, but that cannot erase feelings of inadequacy, loss, or betrayal of trust. The best thing to do at times like this is to simply live your best life. You have no other choice, but to move forward. When someone breaks off a relationship with you, especially someone like a parent or close family member or even a best friend, it can be a struggle to feel ok again. 

I will not shut the door on them too. My love is unconditional and I will be here if they want to be a part of my life is nome way. I will always be there for them. But I will also take care of myself and stop wasting my energy on worrying about what they want me to do for them or how to fix things. I will stop worrying about if my achievements, journey into self-care, or my next trip will anger them in some way. I will stop worrying that every time I share something positive on my blog or social media that they will take it as an act against them. They are not well and it is not my responsibility to fix or appease them. It is not my job to fix what they have chosen to break. As hurt and sad as I am, I am in some ways relieved. The past few years have been a toxic rollercoaster that I am no longer being dragged behind. I developed depression and anxiety because of their bad treatment, the verbal attacks, and the let downs. To be honest, I probably should have made the decision to remove myself from the situation from the very start. Now, they have taken that choice out of my hands and I am actually at peace with it. I no longer have to constantly worry about how to act and what to do for them. I simply need to focus on my own life for a change. It can be freeing when you start to live for yourself again, after unknowingly being dragged through someone else’s drama for so very long. 

Still, making those changes while knowing that the negative part of your life is still exhausting outside of your circle can still cause hurt. Which is why positive affirmations have been so very important while combating feelings of rejection, hopelessness, stress, feelings of worthlessness and betrayal. Below I have compiled the best affirmations that I have found online, read in books, or written for myself. They have empowered me to value myself, my skills, and who I am despite the messages I have been receiving from negative outside sources. I hope that they are just as empowering for you. 

These are the positive affirmations that have been shaping my life every morning:

• I have the power to choose the way that I feel and today I am choosing happiness.
• I am worthy of love and respect.
• I am loved. 
• This is what a thriving person looks like. 
• I let go of the things that harm my joy. 
• I can and I will. 
• I overcome my fears by following my dreams.
• I will not compare myself to others because I am living by my own timeline.
• I am enough. 
• I am whole. 
• I bring good things into the world. 
• I can do anything. 
• I let go of all that no longer serves me. 
• I will never give up. 
• I have the power to create change.
• I am in control of how I react to others.
• I choose peace today. 
• My past is not a reflection of my future. 
• I am allowed to take up space.
• I’m brave and I stand up for myself.
• My body is healthy and I am grateful.
• The decisions of others are not my responsibility. 
• I am not responsible for the actions of others.
• I’m allowed to take the time to heal.
• I choose not to criticize myself and those around me. 
• My potential to succeed is limitless.
• Difficult times make me appreciate the good. 
• I know exactly what to do to succeed. 
• I am successful.
• Success is what I say it is.
• I am worthy of acceptance and love.
• I like myself for who I am.
• I love myself without judgement.
• I make the world a better place just for being here. 
• I bring value to the world. 
• I am kind.
• My body is a temple and I always take care of it. 
• I believe in my abilities.
• My strength is greater than any struggle.
• I inspire others.
• I am inspired by the world around me.
• I have the courage to say no. 
• I am confident in the presence of others. 
• I stand up for myself and others.
• The only person that can defeat me is myself.
• I dare to be different.
• I choose hope over fear.
• I am a magnet for love.
• I like myself the way I am.
• My opinion matters.
• I am loved, I am wanted.
• I am making healthier decisions every day.
• My love for others is unconditional.
• I respect my body and listen to its needs. 
• My life is special to me.
• I am grateful for the things I have.
• I will achieve my goals.
• I am persistent and will not quit.
• I will search for the good that comes, even in the bad. 
• I only attract positive people because I am a positive person myself. 
• Toxic people have no power over me.
• I make a difference by showing up every day and doing my best.
• I have unlimited power.
• I give myself permission to slow down. 
• Let go of “what if.”
• I accept myself just as I am. 
• I am a blazing potential for greatness.
• I am deeply devoted to creating the life of my dreams.
• I have wonderful people in my life who love me. 
• My success is inevitable.
• I am radiant.
• Everyday I am moving closer to my dreams.
• The world needs my light and I am not afraid to shine.
• I will never apologize for being myself.
• I will never be sorry for doing well in my life. 
• I live my life unapologetically and inspire others to do the same.
• My day is full of possibilities.
• I have all that I need.
• I deserve happiness.