A three Day Negativity Detox

Perhaps you have fallen into a negativity spiral before. Maybe you’re in one now. Either from consuming too much negative content (the news, toxic people, etc.) or from a stressful circumstance outside your control. Sometimes life just throws us lemons.

Recently I was scammed by a predatory tow truck company. I had never heard of that before, but it is also known as “satellite towing” when a tow truck driver sends out scouts looking for nice cars unattended that they can tow and claim were parked illegally. No one calls them, they just scout popular locations looking for vehicles that look nice enough that they know people will pay up to get them back asap. I caught them in time and the guy told me that he would only leave my car with me if I gave him $110 in cash only. Their business does not accept cards. I felt like I had no choice but to pay him because he had my car hostage. My colleague was not able to stop the other driver from taking her car so it cost her twice as much at their very sketchy garage. I’m upset that I fell victim to this scam, even more upset with how aggressive the owner was when we arrived to retrieve the other vehicle. I felt unsafe and it felt like such an invasion to have my vehicle almost taken like that and I’m still not over it. Their aggressive attitude only made it worse. He claimed that I “robbed him” by asking his partner not to take my car.

I have never in my life left a bad review for any business before, but I left one for this company and I was not alone. Turns out this man has quite the history of this predatory behavior, including suing the police and the town multiple times because they removed him from a referral list for his aggressive and “combative behavior.” He was also investigated for insurance fraud. There were many reviews of people that fell victim to his schemes just like I did. He was so aggressive and condescending to my colleague and I during our interaction and days later I’m still feeling shaken up, which is why I felt the need to speak out. He claimed my review was “slander,” and threatened me. I am not responding anymore and a part of me is worried that this man is so narcissistic that he might actually have his lawyer contact me. I do not want to feed into this man’s power trip and allow him to bully and intimidate me for standing up for myself. It is over and done with, but the mental stress is still with me.

When negative things like this happen, it can be all too easy for it to become consuming. Every moment of the day is spent worrying, angry, or anxious. Our bodies tense, we clench our jaws and our shoulders begin to hurt, we breath shallowly and our heart rates speed up. This is not good for us. And wasting that energy on these kinds of situations only prolongs our discomfort and gives the other party exactly what they want.

So how do we stop feeding the negative energy?

Easier said than done, we disengage. We stop interactions with toxic people, we pull away from stressful news sources, we stop unhealthy behaviors like stress eating or staying up too late, we pull back from social media, and we limit contact with negativity in every way we can. Of course, we cannot always get a break from our troubles, but when it comes to the negative things that harm our day-to-day, we have more power over how we react and how we recover than we think.

I like to call this a negativity detox. Even after going to bed (far too late from stress) I woke up feeling anxious and even a little angry. This does nothing for me. I continue to worry that he’ll make another threat. I kept ruminating over it. It simply lets the negativity win. I needed to let it go so I could be present. The first step was to unplug. You don’t have to unplug all day, but getting at least an hour offline is a good place to start, especially if the cause of your stress could pop up as an alert on your phone at any given time. It is also easy to be sucked into drama online or to spend too much time scrolling for escape without addressing the real problem.

Once you unplug, you take care of yourself. If it is the morning, you get dressed and ready for the day. By taking care of ourselves physically we are already one big step forward.

Nourish. Let go of the negativity by bringing in healthy nourishment. Eating junk will only make you feel worse. I personally like to drink a stress relieving or detoxifying tea with a little bit of honey. It is soothing. Throughout the day pay attention to what you are consuming. Avoid caffeine or sugar which can make you feel jittery or even sluggish. Avoid foods that make you feel fatigued or bloated. Eat foods that make your body feel good during and after eating. For me, that is often veggies like sweet peppers and fruits like oranges or peaches. Oatmeal has plenty of fiber and keeps me from getting hangry and susceptible to negative moods.

Meditate. Yes, I’m one of those people. Honestly, just 5-10 minutes of meditating really helps. I’m not the best at keeping my mind from wandering, but the act of trying does help me to slow down and limit my stress. A guided app is a good start for those new to mediation or who have a hard time letting thoughts go. Over time the positive impacts only compound. If you can’t meditate or do not have time, focusing on slow deep breathing is a sure fire way to feel better in an instant. In fact, incorporate deep breathing all day long as you may notice you tend to breath more shallow when stressed.

Let’s start turning those lemons into lemonade.

Distract with positivity. This might sound like toxic positivity, but hear me out. When you’re upset or stressed your mind tends to overanalyze and focus on the bad. You need to get out of your own head. For me, that often comes with filling up my mental capacity with positive distractions, otherwise my mind will continue to ruminate over the bad. These distractions need to require focus because when you focus on what is right in front of you, it is harder to focus on the past.

For me, these positive distractions include coloring, word finds, watching my favorite movies, reading, playing a game, jump rope, yoga, listening to my favorite music a little louder than usual when I’m driving, baking or cooking, going for a bike ride, walking around a bookstore, listening to a podcast, or even watching YouTube videos of content creators that share things that make me happy.

You are going to need to continue to do things that are good for you, like getting exercise, spending time in nature, drinking plenty of water, speaking to a therapist when needed, and getting a good nights rest. Working out is one of the fast ways to boost your mood, relieve tension, and let the negativity out. When it comes to mental health, it is not just one thing, but a great many things that keep us well.

To give myself an extra boost I like to take vitamins and supplements that nourish mental health and reduce anxiety, like vitamin C, L-theanine, magnesium, and turmeric.

The final step is gate-keeping your energy. Doing all of the above does not always work right away. It helps, but it does not fix things. Only keeping away from the negativity overload for a few days is what will help you move forward and let it all go. You need to give your brain some time to recover from all the stress. Disengage from those trying to bring you down. You need to be the gate keeper of your own energy, which is why I recommend at least three days focusing on your wellbeing and detoxing from all negativity.

We obviously cannot avoid all of life’s stressors or difficult people, but we can take steps to protect ourselves, protect our energy, and detox negativity so we can become more resilient and feel better. I hope that if you are reading this you feel peace today. I hope you find little moments of joy and that more and more time will go by between thoughts of what is harming you until it becomes a thing of the past. Wishing you every happiness.