.jpg)
Happy Tuesday. I hope you have your favorite cozy beverage ready. I started this Tuesday Tea series back in 2016 and I am happy to return to it to share my thoughts on wellbeing, simple living, creativity, and creating a joyful life. I began this series at a moment when I was feeling a lot of stress and worry and over a cup of tea I was able to find a moment of peace. I started writing about how I was feeling. The goal was to share short bite sized articles and ideas on the blog that would be uplifting and could be read in the time it takes to finish a cup of tea.
This mini series was created as a way for me to take a pause out of my own day and to share a moment of calm with my readers; in other words, a moment of joy and reflection. Joy is something that I try to incorporate a lot into my days, especially my ordinary days at work or at home. I share a lot of the things I have learned from experience as well as the ideas I have been introduced to through books, articles, shows, movies, art, etc. Basically, it is a series to share the positive things I have learned that have helped my life for the better and that I feel could benefit others. Not all of these ideas are of my own invention, but rather a compilation of things I have learned. Many of these ideas you may have heard before, but it is my goal to keep the discussion going. I want to focus on the idea of joy today; creating pockets of joy in our every day lives.
I have a cup of tea in hand and the warmth of the cup and the flavor of the tea (today’s flavor: hot cinnamon sunset by Harney Teas) is brining me joy. The steam is beautiful swirling from the top of my “Love You Pumpkin” mug. The flavor tastes like autumn.
Creating joy is a little different to me than happiness. For me, joy is a fleeting moment of contentment and delight within my day. Happiness, or at least the ideal of happiness is very different. As we have all come to learn, happiness is not sustainable for the long term and chasing the idea of being happy all of the time can set us up for disappointment or the idea that we are not doing enough to make ourselves happy. As I have gotten older I realize I cannot be perfectly happy every day all day, but overall, happiness is the meter that measures long term contentment, joy is the short term contentment and jubilation we feel in a moment.
Happiness is the meter that measures long term contentment, joy is the short term contentment and jubilation we feel in a moment.
The science of happiness has shown us that the little things truly matter in how we feel about our lives. (Great resources on this topic would be books like The Happiness Advantage by Shawn Anchor and Happier by Tal Ben Shahar.) Too many bad events can bring down our overall happiness, but small negative events also have more weight than positive events to the human brain. So putting that knowledge into practice to make our lives happier, in theory we would need to have more positive and happy events throughout our days than negative to feel happier overall. But what if I told you those happy events are already happening, we just do not spare a moment to notice them?
Achieving joy does not have to be hard to reach or planned out in advance. Much about joy has to do with appreciation in the little things, mindfulness in the present moment, and noticing the good that is around us at this very time.
How to find joy
To find joy, you need to be present and aware. Of course, joy can be found in moments of escapism such as daydreaming, watching a favorite show, reading a book, or playing a game, (in a way, escapism is giving all of our awareness to something we love) but a lot of joy is about being present in the moment and that also includes the activities that we do that bring us joy, but also the activities that do not necessarily make us happy. From difficult tasks to the things we do on autopilot like getting dressed in the morning for work, drinking our morning coffee or tea, or our commute to and from work. (Kind of scary to think how much of us drive on autopilot, but have you ever been driving and realized you got lost in thought for the past several blocks?) Taking back these moments can bring us more joy. Here are four ways how:
One. Be aware in the present moment. As you are doing your menial daily activities step back into the present moment and focus on your senses, especially your lesser appreciated senses such as touch, taste, and smell. For example, as you are getting dressed for the day, feel the fabric and the textures of your clothing to appreciate them, like a cozy sweater on a chilly fall day.
Breath in the smell of your coffee before you taste it. And when you do take a sip, really taste the flavor. As you are commuting, notice something beautiful during your journey. It could be the autumn foliage, architecture, or wall art. Notice the world that you see each day in a new way. You will be amazed just how joyful these little experiences can be. How can you be more present of the little things you do each day?
Two. Pause to recognize joy. When you feel a moment of joy in your day, take a moment to ask yourself why. What about that small experience made you happy? Did you see a client that brightens your day? Did someone do something nice for you? Is the task you are being given something you love to do? Do you enjoy the way something feels like typing on a keyboard or writing in a notebook? Is sunlight pouring through a window and painting your walls with light? Pause and savor it. All too often, little things bring us happiness and we do not pause to appreciate it. These joyful moments become background noise. Notice the good around you.
Three. Pause to create joy. If you are feeling stressed or overwhelmed or even upset about something, take a mini break for yourself. I’m not telling you to ignore your feelings in any way and if you are truly struggling avoiding those feelings is not healthy, but in small moments of frustration, we can turn it around by take a moment to breathe.
Stop what you are doing and take a deep breath, a short walk, a text or phone call exchange with someone who brings you joy, with something cozy like a cup of tea, or an activity that brings you joy. The small things that get to us do not have to eat away at us until they take over our mood and our days. We have the power to turn it around.
You can also put in greater effort to create joy by doing bigger things that bring joy into your life. Get creative, get silly, explore, get in some exercise, make things, do what you love, schedule time off to do what you want or make plans with the people that make you feel good. Joy can also be a larger creative effort. For example, the trip to New Hampshire I took with friends last year where I went to the spot in the photo above to see the train pass over the tracks through the White Mountains. I brought tea along and a tea cup too because I enjoy tea and taking photos and also doing silly joyful things that make me happy. Examine the things that bring you joy and find ways to add more and create space for it in your own life.
Four. Take time for appreciation. Now savor it. All the little things that bring us joy are easily pushed aside. Instead, savor the small things.
Wishing you a day full of joy today and every day, especially on your hardest days.
