Cutting Down Your Guest List | Wedding Planning Woes Solved

Is it just me, or is choosing (and cutting back) on the wedding guest list the most challenging part of planning a wedding? I have a very large family and my fiance does too, which has made keeping costs and the guest count down extremely difficult. Thankfully, our venue only allows for 150 guests, which made us limit our number (and save our budget) substantially. But it also meant we had to cross off dozens of names.

Even if you are planning a smaller event, cutting back on the list can be difficult. Here are all of the ways in which I pruned our guest list to fit our nearest and dearest into our wedding and save our budget. If you feel pretty good with your own list, but are struggling with narrowing down your final guest count, skip to number nine for some great tips to narrow down your own list.

One. Create your master list

List the names of all of your family and friends that you wish could make it to the wedding. Remember, for married couples you will have to invite the spouses of the people on this list, which can nearly double your guest count! This first draft is going to be your wish list, so don’t stress just yet.

Two. Decide if you are inviting children

Will children be attending your wedding? If so, at which age are they counted as a guest in your final count? If your venue only allows a limited amount of guests, children under a certain age may not impact your number, while older children may. Deciding if you want the children in your family to attend is a personal decision. Some parents may wish for the night off, but if you’re having a family style wedding you may wish for them to be included. When sending out invites, ask yourself if the child in question will actually want to be there and if they will behave.

Three. Know your guest allowance

How many guests can your venue accommodate? Perhaps you are limited. If you’re lucky, you can invite as many as you desire. But what will that do to your budget? Know the number you can afford to accommodate at your venue and through your caterer. This will be your final number.

Four. Divide the list

If you and your fiance have similar sized families, then you may decide to divide your list 50/50. However, if one of you has a large family and the other has a smaller one, you may decide to split the guest count another way.

Five. Do not guarantee a spot to people before your list is complete

Once someone is invited you cannot simply uninvite them. People are going to be rude and ask. Simply let them know that you are honored that they wish to attend, but you and your fiance are still working on the guest list. Don’t feel pressured to give an exact answer right away unless it is a very close relative or friend that you know is definitely going to be invited. Also know when to not give out a plus one. Married couples are a packaged deal and you will want to extend that privileged to engaged couples and couples that have been together for a very long time. But if you honestly cannot afford to let your friends and distance relatives bring a date, don’t feel ashamed skipping the plus ones.

Six. Make your list and let it sit

Make your list and let it sit for a while. Do not pressure yourself to make any final decisions right away. After a few weeks you may decide that some of the people on the list aren’t worth inviting for any reason, while there may have been someone you accidentally left out of your first draft.

Seven. Check it twice

Now it is time to double check your list. Have you forgotten someone important? Did you put someone on the list, but you really do not want them to attend? Be honest with yourself. You may ask a close friend or relative to give you a hand when selecting who to keep on the list and who to cross off.

Eight. Create a “hopefuls” list

Sometimes we unfortunately do not have room for every guest we wish could make it onto the list. However, not all hope has been lost. At most weddings there are usually several guests who cannot attend due to distance, finances, illness, or scheduling problems. Most weddings are known to have a 20% decline rate. Still, you cannot rely this number. If a guest cannot attend and have sent in their final R.S.V.P., then you can send an invite to one of the “hopefuls” on your plan B wish list to take their place.

Nine. Limit your list

Before making the final decision and sending out the save-the-dates, you may need to limit your list. My fiance and I split our list 50/50 and I still had at least six close relatives that needed to be invited. I knew I had to cut off some friends to make room for them, but how? This is the most challenging part of making a guest list. Who would I cut off the final list and move to my hopefuls list instead? I asked myself several questions to make the decision easier.