Good Morning, I Love You And Other Thoughts On Anxiety

Good Morning, I Love You by Shauna Shapiro has been one of my favorite morning reads for my mental health these past two years. Her compassionate wisdom for mindfulness and her warm motivation for better self-talk has helped me greatly, although I do have to constantly remind myself to be kinder to myself when a hard thought goes through my head. I go back to her book for reference when the world gets too hectic for me and I know I need to reel it in. Her book is a great lesson of self compassion, acceptance, and mindfulness.

Anxiety and depression are no stranger to my mind, although this year has been a better one on the whole for my mental health journey. Still, I was raised with a big heap of trauma and compounded with some traumatic events the past few years with my gut issues, my anxiety has been a little out of whack. When I am under stress my brain shoots right back to those well worn pathways and it takes some time to push myself back up. In short, when I get overwhelmed I get really overwhelmed.

My heart races fast, I sweat, have difficulty sleeping, have shallow breathing, my stomach hurts and my gut issues become more intense, and this all around takes a toll on not just how I’m feeling, but how I function at work, with friends, and in my personal life. My mind will not quiet and even my morning meditation is useless. These days, overwhelm does not stay a neighbor in my mind for long because I have learned the tools. Mental health is more than just one thing.

To be resilient we have to be have our basic human needs met, be healthy, get plenty of rest, have healthy meals three times a day, have good gut health (something I am working on repairing), exercise, therapy as needed, spend time in nature, meditation, hobbies, reduce stress or manage stressful situations well, feel good about our security at work, have strong relationships and a good support system, etc. Supporting our health and mental health can feel like a full time job! And with our busy lives, it is hard to keep it all up at all times. Many things in our life can tip the scale and when something is out of place the scale gets off balance. One stressful event or thing in my life is not enough to ruin my day, but adding a few more things that are busy, overwhelming, stressful, or just went plane wrong on top of it, is enough to tilt me off kilter.

When this happens I pull up my learned tools to bring myself back to center. Sometimes it just takes twenty minutes to reset. Other times it take a day or two or even a week. The point is that thee has been progress though. I don’t fall into week long pits of despair and anxiety attacks.

Sometimes I am harsh on myself for taking “too long” to recover when I’m overwhelmed. But more often these days, I have chosen self compassion over self criticism. I have chosen slowing it down over feeling like I have to do it all.

So each morning, I hope you center yourself to have a better day. And if you are feeling anxious, do not ignore those feelings. Try to name, understand, and work through those feelings.

How to calm anxiety in the morning before it grows:

To calm anxiety in the morning before it gets a chance to grow out of control, you first have to name how you are feeling. Identify your emotions. “Today I’m feeling…….. because………”

“Today I am feeling anxious because I am overwhelmed with all that I have to do this week.”

Once you name it, you can accept it. “I understand that I’m feeling….. and that is ok.” When you accept what you are feeling, you don’t try to run or hide form it. You don’t tune it out where it can fester under the surface. You give in the air it needs to breath so that it can calm.

“Things I can do today to make myself feel better are…” Name what you can do today to reduce some of the overwhelm. You can check one small item off your to -do list, you can schedule extra time to accomplish a task or break up a big project into smaller attainable goals. You can go for a walk or plan to call a friend as you drive home from wok. You can chose to work out at the gym or do a favorite activity. You have the power to overcome what you are feeling and you can make yourself feel better.

Having a plan to tackle the big stuff makes the day feel more manageable in the long term, but what can you do in this very moment to feel better? Can you meditate for ten minutes? Can you go for a walk or call a friend? Can you color in the pages of a coloring book or stretch?

Sometimes anxiety overwhelms us when we are in public or at work. We do not have the free time to work on it, but we do have this moment. There are things we can do right here and now to feel better, even during a busy day. Deepening our breathing or taking several deep breaths in and out can slow our heart rates and bring more oxygen to our brains, helping us find calm and focus. Our breath is a tool we can use at any time or nay place. It is our best resource for combatting overwhelm. If it is not enough, try gently patting your chest or tapping your wrist to bring yourself into the present moment. You can get yourself a drink of water. You can stretch at your desk, tell yourself affirmations, or write down three things you are grateful for. When my anxiety is truly out of control I take an L-theanine supplement or make myself a cup of green tea. I may put Maine Medicinals Relax and restore tincture in my drink or a drop of lavender extract. I may use essential oils on my wrist or hand lotion with lavender and breath deep.

Learning to soothe ourselves in time of distress is an act of self love and compassion. When we’re feeling happy and strong, we tend to let these feel good wellness practices slip, but continuing them, even on our good days, is a great way of becoming more resilient and overcoming anxiety faster when its trikes again.

If you are feeling anxious or overwhelmed today, I hope you take the chance to accept the way you feel and to heal it with self compassion. It is natural to feel overwhelmed at times and the way we treat ourselves during mental distress is important in our healing journeys. Wishing you a beautiful and peaceful day.