How To Travel Together Peacefully | Live Lovely Travel

I was surprised by how many people asked us whether or not we argued during our honeymoon travels. This on not the first time I noticed some people have difficulty traveling with others, even loved ones like spouses or children. The truth is, travel can be stressful. Along the way we faced obstacles including but not limited to plane cancellation and delays, rushes between layovers, lost luggage, unexpected travel costs, jet lag, stressful transportation between airports, difficulty finding our Airbnbs, wrong turns on one way roads, missed meals, and we were even separated when a train door closed behind me trapping Matthew on the train while I waited on the platform for him to come back. “My husband and I would have been divorced by the end of the honeymoon,” one friend joked. Even though travel is one of my favorite things in the world, it can also be exhausting, especially when you have to adjust to your partner’s travel style. 

So did you fight?

Actually, we didn’t. We did disagree a few times and we had moments of being overtired, cranky, and hangry, in which Matthew said I was a hangry gremlin monster. I disagree with that statement. 

Ok, so I am not the epitome of ladylike grace when I’m super jet lagged and very hungry. Who is? The important thing is that we did not argue. I’m surprised by how many people don’t believe me when I say that. But it’s like this; when the going gets tough, we simply reminded each other and ourselves why we were there in the first place. This was our honeymoon. The entire point was to enjoy new experiences together and to grow even more as a couple. It is kind of hard to stay angry when you are feeling thankful for this adventure together and you have your heart positioned to see the purpose of the journey. 

We also kept true to our vow to communicate. When one of us was feeling a certain way, we verbally expressed it to the other. “I know you don’t want to wake up really early tomorrow morning, but we only have the morning to see the Acropolis before our next flight and I really want to get up early to experience it with you.” 

When one of us was very tired or needed space we gave ourselves and each other permission to be on our own or to take a nap. We made sure our needs were met as well as our partner’s. One morning I wanted to get up early to see the Trevi Fountain and Matthew wanted to sleep in. I ended up taking an Uber to the fountain and Matthew got a much needed nap. When I made it back Matthew gave me a high five and told me he was proud of me for my solo adventure, even though he knew I was nervous traveling around Rome solo. When you travel together you want to share everything together and that is perfectly wonderful, but it is also ok to go off on your own every once in a while for some space and exploration. One morning I got up early in Santorini and took a long walk through the town while Matthew caught up on sleep (I returned the favor. After all, he let me sleep plenty when I should have been his co-pilot in France.). It gave me something new and exciting to tell him about and show him later in the day. So share how you’re feeling, don’t feel like you have to miss out, listen to one another, and compromise. If you can take care of yourselves then you will be at your best when you’re together. 

Three weeks is a long time to be with just one another. We spoke with other couples during our trip and even asked another American couple to join us for dinner. It was nice talking with other people for a change and it made our journey more exciting. We walked away with some new Instagram friends and some great memories.

Know your own weaknesses and even more importantly, know your travel companions weaknesses. This one is important. Matthew gets stressed when he feels like we might get lost as we drive. So I tried my best to be a great co-pilot with the GPS and stayed calm when he got stressed. Matthew did the same for me. I’m pretty level headed when we travel and I am comfortable in airports, but checking in luggage gets me stressed like absolutely nothing else, which is why I always travel with carry-on only, this trip being an exception. I hate baggage. It’s heavy, it gets in the way, you have to wait in long busy lines to check it in, it usually costs money, and they often bang it up or misplace it. Have I told you I hate luggage? Matthew, who gets stressed being at an airport (we arrive hours early to ease his anxiety), is my calming force during these checked baggage excursions. And when I am told I have to check my carry-on (the queen of all stressors), he stands by my side supportively as I storm through the airport to our gate in an angry flaming mass. With one hug from him I’m not so angry any more. And when they lost our luggage as I suspected they would (I’m not going to say I told you so… I didn’t say it! ), I was the one to be the supportive and calm force for Matthew. 

We also knew when to let go of the small stuff and laugh off our troubles. When the train door closed behind me, leaving me stranded on the platform as the train took off with Matthew still in it, at first I was a little upset. Verona ended up being the perfect little city to be stranded in. The train station was safe and clean, people were kind, and he came back an hour and a half later. I waited on the platform for him to return, but when he got off he raced right down the stairs before I could reach him. I thought, “I must have been mistaken. Matthew would have looked for me and he had all the luggage anyway so he wouldn’t be able to move that fast.” I was wrong. It was Matthew! When I got a message on my phone twenty minutes later saying he was across the street at a cafe, I was angry that he didn’t look for me on the platform. It turns out, he was trying to find wifi to contact me. We were laughing about it as soon as it happened. I asked myself, “What is the point of being mad?” That question usually disintegrates my anger because there is no benefit to being angry. Instead we laughed, hugged one another, and made our way to our Airbnb. 

We actively chose not to argue because it really is a choice you get to make. When you see the road getting rocky, ask yourself if it is really worth it, remind yourself why you are there in the first place, and promise to listen to one another.