Six Secrets To Social Media Well Being

There is a lot of evidence showing that social media can be detrimental to our health and well being, particularly our mental health. By now many of us have heard the arguments against social media use. As social media becomes more prominent in our lives, what does this mean for us, our friends, our family, and our children? As a photographer, writer, and blogger, I spend a significant amount of time on social media for sharing my photography, connecting with friends and clients, for marketing my business, for sharing my message, as well as for enjoyment. Is it really that bad? 

High levels of social media use have been proven to increase depression and anxiety in many individuals, create social anxiety, reduce our ability to feel empathy, develop narcissism, keep us from being physically active, encourages us to compare our lives to others, and may also lead to burn out. Too much screen time is also bad for our eyes. Yet social media also connects people, educates, spreads positive ideas, and brings joy to people.

Social media is not the enemy and it does not harm every user. In fact, for many people, it sparks creativity, connects us to others, brings us happiness, and inspires and motivates us. So what do these lucky social media influencers and consumers have that others do not?

I took a look and truly studied people; both social media infuencers and regular consumers to figure out what people with great levels of wellbeing online are doing that people who are prone to the negative effects of social media are not. And by study, I mean that I did a lot of observing. I have seen young teens and adults with their phones creating a wall of isolation around themselves and I have also seen entrepreneurs navigate social media to create newsworthy buzz about their latest products and adventures. I have also seen the connectivity that social media provides for our older generation like my grandmother and her sisters who love using Facebook and Instagram to stay connected. I have seen friends use the technology to harm their happiness, yet I have also seen them use it to improve their lives. 

Today I am going to break down the secrets to social media wellbeing so that you can create a healthier and happier social media experience for yourself and your life. This is for anyone who uses social media apps like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram to name a few. It is also for bloggers, vloggers, and social media inluencers looking to interact with social media in a positive way that adds to their life, rather than subtracting from their wellbeing and happiness. 

The First Secret:

The first secret of social media well being is to use social media to pursue positivity rather than as a coping method for dealing with negativity. When we are in a negative mindset, we tend to fall into the toxic rabbit hole of social media, clicking on link after link. We use it to forget our troubles instead of facing them. The first secret is to go in with a healthy mindset. Using or creating social media when we are depressed, angry, anxious, or hurt usually increases the problem. At this point, our brains are hyper aware of the negatives around us and we tend to focus on that, falling into a toxic cycle that can further harm our well being and self-esteem.

Someone in a poor mental state is more likely to read or watch material that will cause further harm, get into a toxic conversation online, share or post something that they may later regret, or fall into a comparison trap where they compare their lives and current situation with the perfect highlight reels of their peers.

Pursuing social media when we are in a negative state can create a habit of using social media as a way to cope, distract ourselves, or check out. If you find yourself doing this, breaking the habit can break the cycle.

The only cure for this is staying off social media when you are in this mindset. Instead, take steps to improve your mental state by speaking with a friend or therapist, exercising, spending time in nature, meditating, or doing something that you enjoy offline. For deeper cases of depression, a social media detox can help.

The Second Secret:

Create a healthy balance is the second secret. This is the most difficult step for social media users seeking healthier online experiences, but perhaps the most important of all. The addiction is real. When we share something online our brains are flooded with endorphins and every time someone likes or comments on our posts our brains are rewarded with another dose of those happy chemicals. The same goes for clicking on things that we find fun or enjoy. When we do not get the amount of affirmations that we anticipate, such as when a post flops, we can become disappointed.

For some, this can create depression or the need to delve even deeper into the addiction to make up for it. Spending too much time online, even for positive interactions, can harm our health. We really should not rely on social media likes and engagement to fuel our self esteem. 

When we become addicted to our phones or computers, our health is impacted by the lack of physical activity and for being too sedentary. We can harm our vision with the bright screens or disrupt our sleep with the constant dose of blue light. We might stop doing other things that we love and spend less time on hobbies, creativity, cooking healthy meals, or socializing with friends and family. We risk harming our relationships and our ability to connect in-person. In some cases, social anxiety and narcissism can develop. Yet all of this can be easily prevented.

Everyone needs a healthy balance in order to have time in their personal lives as well. There are many ways to create balance such as scheduling time on or offline, using timing apps to keep track of our usage, going on digital detoxes, or having a loved one hold us accountable. A personal favorite way I limit my own usage is by practicing some old-school mobile phone etiquette:

• Do not use your phone in public
• No phones at the dinner table, or any table for that matter
• No phones in the bedroom or right before bed
• In social situations, keep your phone on silent and hidden from sight
• Remind yourself that real people are more important than your phone; that includes staying offline in front of our friends and loved ones
• No phones while driving -it can wait!

The Third Secret:

Know your purpose. Why do you use social media? Is it just for entertainment? Seeing photos of your grandchildren who live far away? To promote your business? Because you love to blog? To stay in touch with friends? Network? We happen to use social media for many reasons, most of them good.

But if your take-away is consuming, stressful, or creating feelings of anxiety or depression, it is time to reevaluate your purpose. If you feel that you are wasting too much of your time, energy, and happiness, you need to find and reconnect with your purpose.

Ask yourself, why do I use this app? Read this blog? Watch these videos? Then ask yourself, do they make me happy or add value to my life?

Everything that we surround ourselves with has an impact on our happiness. Colors, sounds, people, and the environment all impact our mood. That includes our digital worlds. Surround your digital life with people, apps, and groups that inspire, motivate, and bring joy.

Make the executive decision to remove anything that does not serve your purpose or takes away from your happiness. In short; remove distractions and everything toxic from your news feed, unfollow toxic people, remove negative or time wasting apps, and get rid of everything that diminishes from the positivity of your social media experience. And that also includes responding to trolls. Those negative people do not deserve to be rewarded with your precious time and energy.

The Fourth Secret:

Have an in-person support network. Your support network is anyone that you go to for emotional support (both positive and negative). It could be people you interact with online, as all of our social interactions do have an impact on our health and happiness, however, maintaining a strong in-person network of people you feel connected with is imperative.

People who over-use social media, whether they use it for fun or business, run the risk of alienating their tangible network, isolating themselves, forming social anxiety, and even developing narcissism; a hyper focus on themselves where they cannot emphasize and connect with other people.

Social media users who have strong wellbeing and mental health know that the secret to maintaining their happiness is by maintaining their relationships. They do this by prioritizing time spent with people they care about off-line.

You do not need a large network to reap the benefits, just a small handful of close friends or family members is all you need. Nourish your social network by staying connected to people in your circle who bring you happiness and joy. Your greatest supporters are those who are there for you, even when you are offline. How do you know who those people are? Ask yourself, who do I call when I feel badly or need help? The people you think about first are the ones that give you the positive connection you need.

Plan weekly or monthly get-togethers and have phone-free time with your significant other, family, or room mates every day. Your self-esteem should come from the strength of your connections, not the number of likes you get online.

If you are a social media influencer then your following will also be important to you in some way, just make sure that you have true connections in-person that can keep you grounded when times get tough. Online friendships of course can form into true friendships. Make sure that the connections you decide to form add real value to your life.

Ignore trolls, block harmful people, and connect positively with those who give you positive feedback. And never forget your own power: with every post you make, you have the power to positively or negatively impact some else’s day. Use that power for good: leave positive messages and comments and be the kind of follower you would wish to have.

The Fifth Secret:

Take control of your health. Social media can have some, make that many, unrealistic standards of beauty and wealth. Confronted with photoshopped images, lavish clothes, stunning homes, luxury vacations, and difficult beauty tutorials, we run the risk of harming our self-esteem. Just knowing these facts can help you take a step back from the comparison game and reassert and appreciate ourselves for who we are and how we live.

Self-love goes a far way in helping people to overcome negativity about our weight, our hair, our clothes, our homes, our jobs, and our lifestyles, which is why mentally strong people take control of their own mental wellbeing and physical health.

When we take care of our minds and our bodies, nearly every other aspect of our lives becomes healthier too. Not always, but in many cases, what we see online is someone’s highly edited and manicured highlight reel; you are seeing their best-of-the-best and not the full picture. However, the truth is that we all struggle from time-to-time. If we feel good about ourselves, then we will not fall apart after seeing someone else’s best.

Healthy bodies also create healthy minds. When we nourish ourselves with good food and exercise, we are promoting our own wellbeing while combating illness and depression. Over-using social media keeps us from being physically active so we need to be conscious about how we treat our bodies. Take control of your health and your the rest will follow.

The Sixth Secret:

Life happens offline. I enjoy photographing, writing, and blogging my travels and adventures. I get joy from sharing my stories and reading the stories of others, however, even I know that true pleasure comes from the experience itself.

I can share breathtaking photos of lavender fields, but the real enjoyment comes from breathing in the scent of the lavender, listening to the buzz of the bees collecting pollen, watching the sunlight light up the fields, and the feeling of warmth from the sun soaking my skin.

You may have heard the saying, “do it for the gram,” when people travel some place or do something for the only purpose of taking a photo and posting it. Instead, I challenge you to change the slogan, “do it for you.”

Real life happens offline. If your only motivation for doing anything is for sharing it online or for being rewarded with comments and likes, then you have missed out. You have missed an opportunity to find joy and connection and to build strong memories from your experience. By all means, take that photo, strike that pose, visit that place, and share it with the world, but also smile from real joy, talk to the person next to you, taste the food, and live the moment.

Conclusion

By now you know the harms and dangers of social media, however, you also know that it is a whole new world of connection, expression, creativity, education, and inspiration; because you now know the six secrets to social media well being:

• One: Go in with a healthy mindset
• Two: Create a healthy balance
• Three: Know your purpose
• Four: Maintain your support network
• Five: Take control of your health
• Six: Life happens offline

Create, enjoy, and share. Your life is what you make it. If you have any tips and advice that helps you maintain a healthy relationship with social media, I would love to hear about it in the comments below. What are your thoughts on wellbeing and social media and how has it impacted you?