Things I Learned From Matilda As A Child And As An Adult

Matilda by Roald Dahl is a wonderful book and the popular 1996 movie adaption starring Mara Wilson was one of my favorites as a child. I recently thought of the film again and wanted to re-watch it. I realized that this beloved story, which comforted and inspired me as a child was also able to do so now that I am an adult around Miss. Honey’s age (Embeth Dadidtz who played Miss. Honey was 31 when she played the role and I am approaching 30 this year). If you watched the film as a kid in the 90’s you’ll know why I’m so nostalgic about it.

As a child, I identified with Matilda and as an adult, I see myself in Miss. Honey.

Growing up in an abusive home, I saw myself in Matilda. In many ways, she was just like me. We had similar home lives, clothes and we both loved to read. I was inspired by her bravery and her creativity. From Matilda I learned that I am braver than I imagine, more important and powerful than I believed, and capable of making big changes for the better. I knew I didn’t have Matilda’s powers, but I also learned that each child is special and important in their own way. -And that meant I was too. And even when I felt so very alone, I was able to learn coping methods through Matilda’s creativity and love of reading. I also learned that although there is bad in the world, there is also just as much good. Most of all, I learned that I was not alone.

“The books gave Matilda a comforting message: you are not alone.”

Matilda gave me hope and taught me how to cope with difficult situations using just my imagination and the world of books. I could transport myself into a whole new world through reading. For the longest time before starting school, Matilda’s best friend is her doll and as a child, mine was too. Just like Matilda, I found perfect escapes in the books I read and borrowed from the library. At the end of the story, Matilda found someone who was both loving and supportive of her unique talents. Miss honey teaches Matilda, “You were born into a family that doesn’t always appreciate you. But one day things are going to be very different.” I learned that things can change, even for the better. She also made strong friendships and taught me what it was to be a good friend. But most of all, she saved herself at the end of the story. She never became helpless. She was smart and she used her brains, not just her powers, to help herself.

As an adult, my new life lessons came to me in the form of Miss. Jennifer Honey. As a child, I adored Miss. Honey just like the children in the film. She was kind and encouraging. She saw the good in each individual. I wanted to grow up to be just like her when I was a kid. In a way, she was like a female Mr. Rogers. As an adult, I could view how remarkable she is now in so many ways. Coming from a traumatic and abusive past herself, Miss. Honey grew into a kind and compassionate adult who saw the special things in each and every one of her students. Quiet, meek, sad, but strong, it takes her a little longer than Matilda to escape her abuser, but even in her darkness she is able to carve out a space for herself and finds the good in her every day. Despite it all, she still holds onto her true self and her integrity. I truly respect that. When living with lifelong abuse, in any form, but especially emotional abuse, it can be difficult to grow into an independent and strong person. Instead of being angry or bitter, she grew in strength, empathy, and kindness. Even as an adult, Miss. Honey struggles, but no matter her own fears, she always stands up for what is right.

As an adult learning to let go of toxic relationships and break free of an abusive past, I have learned from Miss. Honey that sometimes these things take time. When growing in an environment like that, no one comes out unscathed.

Through Miss. Honey I have learned to practice more compassion for myself and realize that life does get better when we put in the work, even if it takes until mature adulthood to get there.

Most of all, I have also learned that the pattern doesn’t have to repeat itself. Miss. honey adopts Matilda and finds love for herself in a whole new way and builds a life she never imagined possible. She breaks free from her past. Life changes.

Did you love Matilda as a kid? If you are a fan, I suggest watching the movie again with a fresh adult perspective. You’ll still find the fun and nostalgic joy, but you just might learn something new.