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Everyone’s life has ups and downs. I am very fortunate to be coming out of a ten-month depression. While planning my wedding I had a lot of wonderful things to look forward to, but certain toxic situations, people, and events kept me from truly being able to live in the moment and appreciate it. Things got worse a few months after the wedding when I no longer had a wedding and travel to distract me from the darkness that was creeping in.
With amazing support from my loving husband and friends, as well as with the help of a professional therapist, I was able to start living my days again without feeling as if my world was over. I was able to separate myself from the feelings that people were trying to push onto me. I was able to brush off the exhaustion, wake up with a positive mindset in the mornings, get outdoors, communicate with the people I love, and do the things that I love to do without feeling seconds away from crying or feeling like a breakdown was imminent. The rain didn’t stop, but at least I had an umbrella over my head at last.
With time and hard work, I was thankfully able to push the dark clouds away. I came out of it thinking clearer; how did I want the rest of my life to look? What do I want my every day life to be like? What can I do to keep my mind and body healthy from here on out? Happiness may not always be a choice, but we can choose to work on it.
I took a good hard look at how I wanted to be, especially who I wanted to be. And that answer is resilient. The good is going to come again, and so will the bad. Life fluctuates, but I do not need to be torn aside by the waves.
To me, an intentional life means not just being in control of what you do, but also being in control of how you let things effect you. It means being a better gate-keeper to your soul and to your heart. For me, living an intentional life means making decisions about who you let in and who you create boundaries for. It means being in control of my own energy; how much sleep I get, how I spend my mornings, how active I am, and what I eat. It means being in control of my mind and my body. Building up that resilience.
When you’re coming out of a depression, your mental state can still be fragile, so it is important to build it up, just as you would for your immune system if your body has fallen ill. When we’re sick, we fuel ourselves with nutrients and hydrate with water. When we’re mentally ill, we can strengthen our emotional intelligence, work on our health, and focus on our well being to bring it back up and keep it there.
Here are five ways that I have strengthened my mental well being to take control of my life:
One. I made sure I got the proper amount of sleep. Doctors recommend at least seven hours, but many people need up to eight or nine to feel well rested. I set a bed time so that I can wake up feeling refreshed, not exhausted.
Two. The power of positive music. I listen to music not just in the car, but in the morning before my day starts and at night before bed.
Three. I reached out to friends and family, sometimes just a quick message to say hello, other times for long phone conversations. Just being connected helped to keep me from feeling lonely or isolated.
Four. Relaxing baths. I believe in the healing power of a good bath. I would fill the tub with hot water and bath salts, light some candles, turn off the lights, and relax to music or a good book until the water started to get cool.
Five. I made time for me and the things I enjoy each and every day. Just having a half hour or an hour for a walk, healthy exercise, a good book, or an activity that I love brought joy back into my days.
