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Grab yourself a cozy cup of tea (or your favorite hot beverage) and join me today for a little chat about slow living. We may all have the best of intentions trying to live more simply, but even slow living isn’t always slow. Life is busy. Like the four seasons, it changes and busyness comes and goes and how we respond to these hectic moments can either keep us centered or make us feel even more overwhelmed.
The first myth we need to dispel is that life is supposed to be slow or that we need to keep life slow at all costs to be well and to live a happy life. A simpler and slower paced lifestyle certainly helps, but life, as we all know is anything but slow. It passes us by much too fast. If you are constantly battling the pace of life and the things that are thrown at you, then you are setting yourself up for an uphill and never ending battle of stress.
Like the seasons, and perhaps even because of the seasons, the pace of life is always fluctuating. This year I had one of the slowest springs of my life. I took time to myself and in many ways found myself again. I got into crafts, tried new things, got rest, and read. I had moments of immense creativity. And then summer came.
Life began opening up again all across the country and with it came numerous events and responsibilities. By the end of summer I started photographing weddings again. All of these were good things, but after such a period of slow it seemed like too much too soon. I was already struggling with my mental health and dealing with past trauma. The quiet of spring helped me find my footing, but I was quickly sinking by the time autumn arrived. I couldn’t slow down the wedding season (nor would I want to) and I still had to work Monday through Friday. Every weekend was packed with events, gatherings, and things I had to do. My husband was also very stressed. The constant travel to events was wearing on us and our finances.
When we neared a breaking point we paused everything and took a step back. We couldn’t control everything, but we could control how we reacted.
We have pretty good boundaries and say no as needed to extra trips, gatherings, and events. But many are unavoidable. But if you find that you are saying “yes” when your heart is saying “oh no,” then you may need to learn how to set better boundaries in your life. Assuming that your boundaries are solid, you’re just plain busy, there are a few action steps you can do to find moments of slow in all the chaos.
The biggest improvement for my husband and I was making it a priority to reconnect and share how we were feeling. We want to work together instead of against one another and to be honest about the stresses in our lives.
The second most important improvement we made was breaking down big tasks and overwhelming to dos into manageable micro steps. The good old “one step at a time,” saying has been essential. But even take your one steps and break them down further. For me, one of the biggest stressors is photo editing. On a normal stress free day I love editing photos, but when I’m overwhelmed with so many things, editing a full wedding day can seem like an impossible task, especially when I have numerous weddings in a row and they’re compounding. Breaking it down into smaller steps like separating the photos by category, selecting only the best images to keep, and editing only one category at a time helps me feel in control of it. I complete one minor task or dedicate only a certain amount of time to a task and end it for the day before moving onto another micro task that needs my attention.
And third, and perhaps in many ways the most important, is prioritizing my own wellbeing. For me, that looks like guarding my rare no-plan weekends like a dragon hoards gold. I also set aside a short period of time for myself every morning and every evening to refill my cup. After pouring it out all day on work, tasks, and being there for other people, I need to refill my cup. That can be done with a short work out, reading a book, going for a walk, yoga, meditation, talking to a friend, taking a bath, doing a hobby, planning a photo shoot, going for a bike ride, making a trip to the library, watching creative YouTube videos, or any number of small activities that bring me joy and recenter myself before or after a busy day. Find the activities that refill your cup and do one or two of them for a short period never single day, even when you have other things you need to do.
Life is going to be busy. Even slow living enthusiasts still get busy and overworked or overwhelmed. I’m not perfect at this myself. It took a week of extreme stress to realize that I needed to reset and slow down. If you find yourself caught in a busyness trap, take a moment to reevaluate. You can combat getting caught into a busyness crisis by creating small moments of slow. Take a deep breathe. Pause. Steal back some of your time. Find a moment of stillness.
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